i don't understand myself. each time that i start to forget about it, it just slip into my mind again. yesterday we went to GHighland and on the way back we were talking about tons of stuff, and all of the sudden i found ourselves talking about arwah...
i don't know why i miss them so much. its not like i live with them all my life or anything like that. but its like the feeling of lost knowing that they're no longer there. i remember how they used to care for me even though i insisted on moving back with my parents. i remember how granny used to bath me early in the morning, scrub me with the coconut. it was painful and she always ended up chasing me here and there just fer a bath. but come to think of it again, i'm lucky coz none of my cousins nor my bro get to experience any of that. i remember how she used to make my favorite dishes for lunch time. i remember they way she says, "nenek nk pergi masjid ni. nak ikut?" we had to go through the woods coz we hate taking the long way. how she would hold my hands tightly because i've always picture snakes or any reptiles would just come jump out of the nowhere. or sometimes she would just carry me because she's afraid might get bitten by ants. how she would comb my hair so sleek to make it look so neat, and how she make sure that i smell all nice among everyone else in kindergarden. i used to hate her doing all those stuff on me because it was so annoying, but i really miss all that (and i mean REALLY2 miss)...i was well the whole time she took care of me, except for there was this one time when i caught a fever. i remember how she took care of me, putting all those traditional medicine on me, and it didn't take the whole day for me to get better. as i was feeling better and found she's not by my side, i went downstairs to look for her and still couldn't find her. i went behind the house and call out to her, "nenekkkkkkkkkk" because normally when she's not around, she'll b collecting coco. i called many times, still she's not there. then i found a big bowl full of coco nearby the hse, so dig! (trust me,it's so freaking good) and came my granny from behind and scowl at me for being downstairs when i should b in bed, she was really angry because i have ants all over me. there was a time where i found my mom's make-up set & i asked her to put it on me. and she did! only to think about it, she had put it all in wrong places! hahha.. those were the moments...i miss her sambal ikan bilis, masak lemak cili padi, her kek lapis, and other kuih-muih. but most of all, i miss HER!
i miss the way she cares for me, i miss the way she comforts me (when everyone turned their backs on me), i miss the way she loves me, i miss the attention she gave without nagging, i miss going to sleep without listening to her stories, i miss everything about her.
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